Practicing the Pause

Taking authority over my response...

wedding day, 2019

Hi beautiful souls,

Last month, I saved a post that said, “Practice the pause. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly.” So this month, I decided that I would be intentional about leaning into this practice. I love the word “practice” because it leaves room for mistakes to happen without resting in shame, it leaves room for grace, it leaves room for growth rather than perfection. Sometimes when we grow in certain areas, we outgrow in others - and for me, in this season, that looks like managing my mouth and being mindful of what I say and when I say it.

Healing is not all about “light and love” and being the kind of person who never gets triggered. Healing can look like being able to take authority over your response and understanding, down to a cellular level, that although certain responses may be warranted, it may not be spiritual wise UNLESS God has instructed you to. I have this verse written down on a sticky note and placed to the corner of my bathroom mirror that serves as a constant reminder. “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” - Ephesians 4:29

I didn’t always understand the way that I do now, but I often forget that we are spirits in a physical body. I’ve realized when certain people see the Jesus and light-filled spirit you have, their spirits become agitated and they will do everything they can to get you to step outside of alignment. I’ve also realized that when you are healing and growing, you will be tested. Sometimes we think we are healed from something until we are triggered by it. Lately, I have paid extra attention to comments (either said to me or someone else) that may seem harmless to the naked eye, but is laced with negativity and spite to the spiritual eye. Practicing the pause allows me to recognize that it’s not them but the spirit operating in them. It also allows me to recognize that we have all been guilty of saying harsh things out of ego, pride, spite, frustration and annoyance. So when I recognize it, it has become easier for me to lift up their name to God in the same way I needed others to lift up mine.

When we are healing and taking authority over our responses, we assume that everyone and everything else needs to fall into place. When we are healing and taking authority over our responses, we assume that when people see our healing, they would want to heal with us. I came across a quote by Caitlin Patrick that said, “What I didn’t realize is that healing will trigger the folks around you who are not on their healing path. And that’s ok.” We are not responsible for the healing of others, but we are responsible for staying in alignment and not crouching down to a level God has brought us up from.

Practicing the pause looks like:

• praying (which will grow your spiritual muscle and discernment)

• noticing and observing rather than judging

• not nagging your spouse as soon as they walk in the door about a grievance

• taking a step back and walking away for a few minutes after your child damaged something you told them not to touch

• being clear, direct and kind

• when triggered, being able to notice what is actually happening

• disengaging from a conversation thread when you discern negativity and spitefulness

• going to someone to ask questions before assuming the worst

• not desiring to have the last word

• counting to 10 and saying a quick prayer before responding

• slowing down

• honoring silence and not saying anything at all

Today’s letter may or may not resonate with you, but I invite you to join me as I practice the pause and allow God to lead my responses and keep me in alignment.

1. What are some ways you can practice the pause this month?

2. How does it look when you are triggered?

3. Do you think you have grown when it comes to “managing your mouth”? Why or why not?

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Song I Love:

Love and light,

Amber